


Shut Up, Don't Move

by gaemmel



Category: Stand Still Stay Silent
Genre: M/M, the 2015 prompt challenge of the fandom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-07
Updated: 2017-05-31
Packaged: 2018-09-15 12:06:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9234350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaemmel/pseuds/gaemmel
Summary: This is my take on the 2015 prompt challenge. I will update the tags and set up the rating when new chapters are uploaded, and will give each chapter tags and warnings in the beginning. Enjoy!5th chapter: Based on page 680. Sad Onni is sad.6th chapter: Tuuri moves out, and sad Onni is sad again.





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> Rating: Gen  
> Characters: mainly Tuuri & Reynir  
> Tags/Warnings: none
> 
> My take on the challenge! I have wanted to start this forever, but didn't dare until now. The name of the fanfic is based on a nickname me and my friends gave the comic, because using the name "Stand Still Stay Silent" in a sentence all the time is a tongue-twister, and "SSSS" has so many S's that you forget how many you still need to say. 
> 
> For this one, it's probably helpful to say that this is set directly after page 299 (which is the last page of the chapter in which they aquired Reynir).

Tuuri looked down on the new-comer as she hadn’t really been able to get a look of him before through all the chaos that had ensued as soon as Emil had found him in the crate that had been supposed to be filled with food.

He looked friendly, she decided. And cute. And his hair was absolutely stunning, although it looked like it hadn’t seen a comb in weeks.

He noticed her looking and gave her a weak smile. “Hi.” He said.

She smiled back. “Hey.” She vaguely noticed how from the top bunk, Lalli was still staring down at them. She was also well aware of the fact that practically next to her, Emil was still sitting against the wall.

Tuuri figured that the Icelander must feel awful: He had just been dumped into the Silent World to be a burden to their team for weeks, possibly months, and it was all his fault. He probably feared they were going to make his life hell.

She flopped down onto the floor next to him.

“You’re Icelandic, right?” she said in Icelandic. He looked up to her, his eyes lit a little.

“Yes?!” he said. “You speak Icelandic, too?”

That was a stupid question, given the language she had just addressed him in. He noticed it immediately.

“Oh right, sorry. But that’s great! I was scared no one but the, the…” he peered around her to see Mikkel at the radio station, going back and forth between talking to the support crew and calming down his first in command, who was still screaming.

“You mean Mikkel?” Tuuri helped.

“Yes!” Reynir said. “I mean, I guess. If that’s his name. We… we haven’t really had time for introductions yet.”

Tuuri offered him her hand. “Well, it’s not like we are in a hurry, but we can as well start now! I’m Tuuri!” She took his and squeezed it, but not very hard.

“Reynir Árnason.” He said. They released each other’s hands.

“Arnason?” Tuuri asked. “Right, I forgot you Icelanders do that weird thing with your last names! If your last name is Arnason, that means your father is named Arna, right?” she asked.

Reynir didn’t seem to be offended that she had just called his country’s naming traditions weird.

“Actually, his first name is Arni.” He explained. “I think there are some rules that you change some letters because the old Icelanders thought Arnison wouldn’t sound so good? I don’t know.”

Tuuri nodded. “Yeah, they explained that to us in school when we started to learn Icelandic.”

“You have Icelandic in school?” Reynir asked, his eyes wide because he was already lost in their topic. For the moment, his worries seemed almost forgotten.

“Of course!” Tuuri answered. “You need to read books about all kinds of things! Most of the books that weren’t about Finnish things we owned at the skald’s office were in Icelandic. Didn’t you know that most books today are written in Icelandic?”

Reynir looked taken aback. “I… I didn’t.” he said, looking at little sad again. So you can be from Iceland and not know much at all, Tuuri thought. She had always figured that in Iceland, everyone must be really smart because they had all the books and all this old world technical stuff.

 Before Tuuri decided that she should change the topic on his behalf, Reynir spoke again. “So you work as a skald? What do you do on this… mission? I mean, you wore a face mask, does that mean you are non-immune, too? Isn’t that really dangerous? What if-“

“Hold on!” Tuuri had to laugh. “That’s a lot of questions! Let’s do them one by one, okay? But first, maybe I should introduce you to the others?”

Reynir nodded.

“Okay.” Tuuri said. She pointed up to the top bunk, where Lalli’s head disappeared as soon as he noticed that she was pointing him out to Reynir.

“Above there, the guy with the same hair colour as me, that’s my cousin Lalli, he is our scout and mage.”

“No way! A mage! A Finnish one?!” Reynir gasped. “I have never seen a Finnish mage before! Actually, I have never seen ANY mage before! Can he-“

Tuuri had the sudden urge to slap her hand over his mouth. Instead, she just yelled: “Reynir!” He stopped talking and looked at her, then blushed. “Sorry…” he said. “I know I talk too much sometimes…”

“It’s fine.” Tuuri couldn’t help but smile. “Okay, the boy who pushed you around and thought you were our prisoner – by the way, he is really sorry for that – is Emil. He is the nephew of the organizers of this mission and he is our Cleanser, that means he burns stuff sometimes, but he mostly runs after our captain and kills trolls with her.”

She shot a glance to Reynir to check if he was going to interrupt her again, but he just returned the look and nodded.

“The big guy you saw is Mikkel, he is our medic and our … well, he does our laundry and helps with all kinds of stuff. And unfortunately, he cooks.” Reynir giggled and Tuuri couldn’t help but do the same. She delighted in the sound of their laughter flying up together, although it made Emil peer around the wall and then frown in suspicion.

“And at last, the woman with the red hair who refuses to keep you is Sigrun, our captain. She is… a handful, but she is awesome at fighting. I am sure she will stop hating you soon.”

Reynir swallowed. “I hope you are right…” he said glumly.

“Sure I am!” Tuuri smiled at him. She already felt somewhere deep inside of her, she had taken to like the strange boy with the messy hair, and that she didn’t want him to be sad. Even though he seemed to talk even more than she did herself.

“Don’t worry. This tank will probably feel like home for you in no time.”


	2. Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: Mature because of a tiny bit of sexual content.  
> Characters: Emil/Lalli  
> Tags/Warnings: family stuff, brief mention of abortion 
> 
> Words like "love" are so full of meaning that I found it very hard to find a start with this one. Now it grew into the possibly weirdest thing I have ever written, style-wise, but I am so proud of it! Emil goes to relieve a few memories of the life he's shared with Lalli.

There are many ways to love someone.

 

_Their ragged breath was loud in each other’s ears. Quiet. They needed to be quiet, but it was so hard. It was so hard to bite down the cries, to muffle the screams of please they both wanted to give way so badly. For now, they were alone, but these moments were so, so rare. When Emil felt Lalli come inside of him, he couldn’t stop himself from crying out any longer._

Emil gave out a contented hum when he thought back on these many stolen moments they had shared in the tank back then, and it seemed like these memories were a thousand years old.

 

_“Lalli?”_

_“Hm?”_

_“What will happen when this mission ends?”_

_“…”_

_“Lalli, I…”_

_“I won’t leave you.”_

_“Lalli… you’re my world, do you know that? I’ll die without you.”_

_“Don’t be so dramatic.”_

_“But it’s true! Let’s stay together.”_

_“I won’t leave you, Emil. Never.”_

But no matter how old these memories grew, Emil would never forget this particular conversation that had been hold just a few weeks before the quarantine ship had brought them back to the Known World.

 

_“What are you doing?” Lalli asked, his voice full of confusion, when Emil suddenly got up and kneeled down in front of his boyfriend._

_“Lalli.” he said._

_“Yes?!” Lalli answered, slightly annoyed with the weirdness that was suddenly thrown at him._

_“Lalli, I… I love you more than… more than anything in the world. More than my own life.”_

_“Drama queen.” Lalli snorted, but he had a pleased look on his face._

_“Lalli, since we got off that boat in Iceland, we haven’t spent a day apart, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.”_

_“Neither would I.” Lalli agreed with a little smile._

_“Lalli…”_

_“If you say my full name now I am going to say no.”_

_“Okay.” Emil took a deep breath and let out a shaky laugh._

_“Please marry me.”_

_“I will.”_

Emil would never divert from calling this the happiest day of his life, although since then, that moment had gotten quite some competition. Weirdly enough, the actual marriage ceremony wasn’t among them. It had been a big fest that had been attended by literally everyone they both knew, half of the Swedish military and of course the old crew. It had eaten away lots of money and a lot of Lalli’s nerves. So the best moment of it had been…

 

_“Is the door locked?” Lalli asked, watching Emil from the bed._

_Emil rattled at the handle to prove it. Instead of an answer, Lalli brought his arms up and slid out of the white button down and the undershirt in one move._

_“Finally.” Lalli said with a hunger in his voice that made Emil’s mouth water._

Maybe their sex on their wedding night hadn’t been the best they had ever had, but it had certainly made them reminiscence the good old times where intimacy was a precious good to be fought for, which had in turn increased the hunger for each other. Even today, so long after, Emil felt like the times when he and Lalli wanted to make love to each other the most were the times when they couldn’t.

 

_“Lalli?” Emil said on a quiet evening._

_“Hm?” Lalli gave back, looking up._

_“Do you…” Emil had to steady himself to be able to ask this question “do you want children?”_

_He saw Lalli grow a little paler. There was a long silence._

_“I don’t know.”_

 

There are many ways to love someone. And every relationship will come to the point where you have to make compromises. Given the fact you want to; given the fact you believe you can make this work.

 

_“Lalli?”_

_“Yes?”_

_“Do you want children?”_

_“… No. No, Emil. I don’t.”_

 

And sometimes, these compromises need time. And sometimes, they never get fully resolved.

 

_“Emil?”_

_“Yes, Lalli?”_

_“I think we should have children.”_

_“What? Why?”_

_“Because I don’t want you to leave.” That Emil didn’t object to this said more than anything else._

_“But… I don’t want us to have children that you hate.” Emil threw in._

_“I won’t hate them.” Lalli answered in a heart-beat._

_“How can you be sure?” Emil asked._

_“Because no matter how they will sometimes wreck my nerves and wrench my attention away from you, I will always know they are the reason you are still here.”_

It wasn’t a good compromise. It wasn’t a decision based on healthy thinking on Lalli’s part. It was a decision based on the fact that Lalli wouldn’t allow anything to tear them apart, even if it was himself and his aversion against children. It would be fine. As long as Emil didn’t leave him. There were many ways to love someone, after all.

 

_“There was a letter in the mail.” Lalli said and placed it in Emil’s hand._

_“They have found a girl for us.”_

_Nora was only five months old when she came into their household. She was of Finnish descent, from Saimaa, just like Lalli. The day they came to pick her up was also the day Lalli saw his old home for the first time since he had left it as a child._

_Nora wasn’t with them yet the moment Lalli saw the house of his parents. She wasn’t there yet when Lalli collapsed in a crying fit in Emil’s arms._

_But Lalli had felt like this, seeing his old home, taking in a child that had lost her parents just where he did so long ago, freed his heart of a burden he wasn’t even aware it had carried. It freed his heart for Nora. His fears had been for nothing; although Nora screamed at lot at first and grew to be not much quieter than Emil’s horrible cousins, he loved her from the first day on._

 

Emil sighed and smiled to himself. After this issue, which had hung over their relationship like the sword of Damocles for so long, was resolved, something unexpected happened. Emil had heard of – and feared – the stories of people who drove apart over the stress of caring for a child. But seeing all of their fears – Lalli not loving the child, Lalli not caring enough for the child, Lalli being unable to empathise with the little girl’s needs – dissolve into nothing made them grow strong, made their bond grow even tighter.

Seeing Lalli love Nora in a way he had never loved before, unconditionally, with the urge to protect her and teach her burning in him like a fire, made Emil the happiest man in the world, and made him love Lalli so, so much more. Sometimes, you find new ways to love along the way.

 

_Their world was spun upside down fifteen years later when a crying Nora appeared out of nowhere and ran up to throw herself in Emil’s arms._

_“Nora! What’s wrong?!” Emil was in shock. Nora was a teenager and usually not particularly cuddly since she had reached puberty. “Nora, what happened?!”_

_But his daughter just kept crying. The upset voices drew Lalli out of the bedroom._

_“Nora.” he said, and the calmness of his voice had always worked like a charm on her. It did as well this time. She took a few deeps breaths, then wretched herself away from Emil’s arms. Emil would never forget the moment she stood there, not a child anymore, but not yet an adult, something in between, shocked and confused. Her face smeared with tears and her blonde hair a mess._

_“I’m pregnant.”_

Emil had played this moment in his head over and over again. Had they done the right thing? He would never be certain. Because of low population rates, the government had banned abortions long ago. You could get one, but it was expensive, and more important, dangerous, especially for a girl at Nora’s age. If someone found out – and since Emil was a high-ranking officer in the Swedish military now, it would be hard to hide from all eyes – they would lose everything. It wasn’t a decision easily made. Nora had the child, a boy. And they agreed that Emil and Lalli would take him as a son.

It wasn’t easy at first. All three of them struggled to find their new roles, the relationship between Nora and her fathers seemed altered forever. There was blame on both sides at bad times. But they managed to find a new normality eventually. After all, there are many ways to love someone.

 

_Ironically, the day Adam moved out was Lalli’s 60 th birthday. Adam had grown to be a quiet and determined young man, and although his hair was as dark as his not-much-invested biological father had been, he often reminded Emil of Lalli, even more than Nora resembled Emil. _

_They had been careful not to let Adam’s true heritage grow into a secret endangering the family, and Adam had known everything from a young age on. He had taken it surprisingly well._

_Adam was not just moving anywhere, nor was it technically the first time he left the house of his parents for a longer time. Adam had trodden in one of his father’s footsteps and had become a Cleanser by the time he was twenty, and now he was moving into their quarters indefinitely, because he had made clear to his dads that he couldn’t be seen as General Västerström’s little boy any longer._

_When he had made his good-byes and the door had closed behind him, Lalli and Emil looked at each other._

_“You know what?” Lalli had said._

_“What, do you want another one?” Emil had said with a grin and a nod to the door._

_“Quite on the contrary.” Lalli had said with a wide smile. “Let’s move to Finland and retire.”_

_“Why on earth would you want to leave Mora?” Emil had said in surprise._

_“Emil Västerström, all my life, I have followed your lead, even though I am the scout in this relationship. Now these darned brats you wanted so much are out the door.” Lalli said all of this with a smile. “Now let me make a decision for us just once. Why are we supposed to grow old and boring here?”_

And Emil had given in. They had both retired, Emil as a general – the outrage was big, but Lalli’s gratefulness had been bigger, so Emil didn’t care – and Lalli as a scout, and bought a house in Saimaa. They city had grown over all the years, things had changed, the population of Finland was slowly healing, and, most importantly: Saimaa had become a lot safer.

And that’s where they stayed. That was where Emil could sit in his study for hours to read books and keep his correspondence with his friends and family.

That was where Lalli took long walks among the woods of his childhood, and Emil saw his husband’s face and found true happiness in there. And even when Emil stopped being able to walk and Lalli’s sharp senses began to fade, they never failed to awake with a smile for one another.

There are many ways to love someone. One way is forever.


	3. Light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: Gen  
> Characters: Tuuri-centric, the rest of the crew  
> Warnings: I guess this counts as a little angsty?

Tuuri blinked confusedly into the blinding light coming from outside of the tank. Everything seemed to have slowed down. How long since the troll’s claw had scratched her arm? How long had it been since Lalli shot the beast? She couldn’t say.

Next to her, Reynir, pale as sheet and eyes as huge as plates. The word “plate” was “tallrik” in Swedish. Tuuri didn’t know why that thought had come to her. She was about to remember the other forms of that word, when Lalli bound into the room, followed by Mikkel. Or maybe they had been here for a while already?

There was talking now. Tuuri knew that she should understand what was said, that this was a language she spoke. But she couldn’t make out anything over the rushing in her ears, as loud as a thousand rivers combined.

She squinted her eyes at the door. There was a huge light emitting from it, coming from outside. What had happened out there? She wanted to ask, but she failed to voice her thoughts. She noticed that Mikkel was doing something close to her, something on her body.

It hurt, but whenever the hurt became too much, the rushing set back in louder again, separating her from the rest of the world.

Tuuri stared at the open tank door for a while longer. Slowly, her eyes adjusted to the brightness and she could make out more details outside. She would have liked to stand up and examine the world outside the tank, but as soon as she decided on standing up, the thought slipped from her again, just like that.

The light shone bright onto the small corridor between bunk room and driver’s cabin. Where it hit the chamber in which they de-contaminated their clothes, it fought a battle with the blue light the chamber emitted, and won.

From her angle, Tuuri could only see about half of the view the open door offered. She could see somebody standing amongst what seemed to be flames outside, reduced to a silhouette in the too-bright light. Why did things become silhouettes when it was too bright, too? Tuuri felt unable to answer the question.

She lightly turned her head to see Mikkel still working on her shoulder. She couldn’t see much of him, but his face looked calm and concentrated. It wasn’t too bad, was it?

She sank into another few minutes of absent-minded nothingness, then she became aware of a weight on her knee. She sat up a little and looked down. Lalli sat in front of her on the ground, his head lay in her lap. She placed a hand on it. When she raised her hand to move it, she was surprised to find that it shook. Why? She was calm. Why did her hand shake when she felt so calm?

It was only when Mikkel and Lalli both had their hands on her – how long had she been gone again? – and moved her into the bed that she realized she was shivering, and her hands were clutching each other. She wanted her left hand to go let go of her right, but it didn’t happen. She glanced sideways to the tank door. There were silhouettes there. Who was it?

Tuuri wanted to know, wanted to ask, but before she could, her mind sank into unconsciousness for good.

When she awoke again, the rushing in her ears was gone. She realized that she had stopped shaking, she lay calm now. She was cold. She turned her head to the side and opened her eyes. The first thing she saw was Emil. He sat in front of her on the ground, his head levelled with hers. His hair shone beautifully in the light that still came from the tank door, but less bright now.

“Emil…” she croaked.

“You’re awake!” Emil jumped up. He looked panicked. Why did he look like that? It wasn’t so bad. “Can I get you something? Are you thirsty? Do you need more painkillers?”

He asked too many questions at once. Her head couldn’t follow. She got distracted by the way the light came into the tank when Emil moved out of her sight. She actually outstretched her arm, and even though it hurt, brought it in the direction of the door.

“Why is it so bright outside?” she asked.

Had anyone ever answered her? She couldn’t remember. She slipped out of consciousness, and when she came back, there was Sigrun in front of her. Mikkel, too. Talking. After a few minutes – at least Tuuri thought it was minutes – she was awake enough to understand them.

“… painkillers and let her sleep.” Mikkel said.

“Yeah, alright, but is she infected or not?!” Sigrun demanded to know with her usual loud voice.

“Almost certainly.” Mikkel answered.

“Is there no way to find out?” Sigrun pressed on.

Tuuri stopped following the conversation. She was infected? They didn’t know whether she was infected or not? She didn’t want to be a health risk for Reynir!

She made a noise to let them know she was awake.

“Heeey, how do you feel, fluffy?” Sigrun asked, bending over her. “Listen, you had a rough night, you should probably get some more sleep. We’ll take care of the rest, alright?” Sigrun kept talking. She was too fast, Tuuri felt her head starting to swim again. She stared into the light behind Sigrun until her eyes hurt, trying to keep her weak grasp on consciousness.

“Reynir.” Tuuri finally managed to say.

“Did you say Reynir? He’s fine, don’t you worry! Just peachy. He can’t come near you right now, though. We don’t know if-“ Sigrun stopped talking when Mikkel layed a hand on her arm.

“What?! She’s not stupid, she will know that-… _Fine_.” Sigrun left. Mikkel was over her again. She squinted her eyes to focus on his face.

“Am… am I infected?” she asked him. Mikkel’s face didn’t show any reaction, and if it did, she couldn’t make it out.

“You will be alright.” Mikkel said. Tuuri nodded and closed her eyes, and the absence of light brought relief to her aching eyes. If Mikkel said she was going to be fine, that was what was going to happen.


	4. Dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh. My. God.  
> I think I made about four attempts to write something for this prompt, but if I try to write one more "Tuuri is hurt and everyone is sad" fanfic, I'm gonna throw my computer out of the window.  
> So here, have a sad little tale from Lalli's childhood. Lalli is about eight years old in this. 
> 
> Rating: Teen and Up  
> Characters: Lalli, Onni, some guards  
> Tags/Warnings: several mentions of physical abuse (but no actual abuse dealt to anyone), some mild insults

When Lalli looked up, he realized that he was going to be late. Again. He cursed and starting running, even though he knew it was pointless. Between one jump over a root and the next, he looked up at the sky: There was hardly any sunlight left, and the little warmth it had given them over the day had already disappeared. Only now he realized he was cold.

Lalli cursed and strained to run even harder. He was going to get in big trouble tonight. Onni would be furious.

Lalli jumped over another root and looked around carefully. He felt like he knew exactly where he was – he wasn’t planning on becoming a scout for nothing! – but he wanted to make absolutely sure, so he wouldn’t waste any time on detours.

Still, when he saw the last light disappear behind the treetops a few minutes later, he knew he was too late. The gate would be closed already.

Lalli clenched his jaws and his step faltered. As long as the sun was up, the gate was guarded, but open. He wasn’t technically allowed outside the gates alone then, either, but they had sort of given up on telling him that. And most of the time, he snuck out without even encountering anyone. He was too quick, and standing around for hours and hours in the winter sun made the guards lazy and unaware anyways.

But this time, he would have to knock. Lalli shuddered at that thought – or maybe because he didn’t bring a jacket. And then, there would be questions again. Mostly the kind of questions one doesn’t have to answer, as Tuuri had explained to him. There was no correct answer on “Are you mad, boy?!”.

After maybe twenty minutes of jogging, he reached Neverland. That’s what he called it, anyway, after a story Onni had read to them. Neverland in the story was actually a nice place, but Lalli still felt like the maybe twenty-meter-wide, flat expense around the city walls without any trees or bushes still fit the name perfectly.

It was the land you never wanted to be in, because it made you uncomfortable. You were vulnerable there.

Lalli hesitated and leaned against one of the last trees, trying to catch his breath. He was going to have to train even harder if he wanted to be a scout… He still couldn’t run as much as they did without getting short of breath.

He overlooked Neverland, which was bathed in the faint light many torches that were hanging outside the walls, shining light onto the ground right beyond the walls. He stared at the walls longingly. If he was older, if he was a little taller… he might be able to grab the torch holders and pull himself up on them, and then maybe climb the whole thing… It would be dangerous and you could certainly break a leg or at least sprain an ankle if you fell down again, but it would still be so much better than what he was going to do.

Lalli took a last deep breath and ran over the flat expense, and the absence of any tree or bush, even for a few metres, made him feel exposed. He reached the gates. They were firmly closed for the night, as he had expected. He took another breath. Then, he raised both of his small hands and banged them against the wooden gate so hard it hurt.

He was not surprised that no one heard him the first time. So he did it again, once, twice.

Finally, someone looked over the edge of the wall above him, where a guard was posted on the stand.

“Hey! What are you doing down there?!” the man yelled. Lalli sighed. A guard who didn’t know him yet, great.

The man left his posts and a few seconds later, the gate was opened a tiny bit. Lalli squeezed through as soon as the whole was wide enough. He tried to slip past the guard, but the man caught him on the neck of his shirt. Lalli made a strangled noise, but felt it beyond his dignity to struggle any further.

“What the HECK were you doing out there, boy? It’s long past nightfall! Do you want to get eaten?” The man forced him around to stare into Lalli’s face, who, on the other hand, tried to avoid doing that as much as possible.

“Say, will you look at me when I’m talking to you?! The silent world is no playground!” The man yelled and shook Lalli, who had his eyes fixed firmly onto the ground by now. This was going even worse than he thought, the man was touching him, and looking at him, and… He felt that familiar tingle in his ears come up, and raised his hands up to them to calm down.

“Take down your bloody hands! Listen to me!” Unfortunately, the guard interpreted this as refusal to listen to his lecture, and got even more angry.

“You are one barefaced little bastard! Stay right here, you’ll come with me!” the guard, seemingly fuming at Lalli’s behaviour, dragged him after him into the guardhouse, where another man sat at a desk.

“Look at this, Malte, this little shitface was playing outside the walls, can you believe it? And he won’t even talk to me or look at me! He probably thinks this is just a game.”

“Hmpf.” The guard named Malte made and stood up. “I know this boy. He’s the one boy Onni’s raisin’.”

The other guard still had Lalli in an iron grip by his neck.

“Onni? That mage who’s barely old enough to drink? Well, he better take better care of his little brother. Give him a good ass-whooping tonight.” The other guard said. Lalli stood still and looked to the ground. He knew well enough that even if Onni was going to punish him, in a way, violence was not going to be part of it – Onni had something worse. Sadness.

Malte got his cap. “I’ll see if someone’s around who has time to call on Onni and make him get the boy. See you later.” And with that, he was outside the post.

The other guard stared down at Lalli. “If I let go of your shirt, will you run away?”

Lalli carefully raised his head enough to take in a little of his surroundings. There were a table and a chair, a beaten down sofa, and a few shelves. No more people and no more doors for them to come through. This was not good, but the room was at least safe. He shook his head.

“Good.” The guard said and released his grip. Lalli stumbled forwards a little and when he caught himself again, he crawled under the table, drew his knees up and hid his face. He took a deep breath. It was dark and a little dusty here. Much better.

The guard, on the other hand, wasn’t amused. He sighed. “What are you doing _now_?” He sighed some more and sat down on the sofa. “You’re a weird one. Guess that explains why you run around the silent world at night.”

Blissful silence for a while, the guard seemed to open a newspaper or something.

“Hey, kid, if you’re under there because you think I’ll give you that ass-whooping, don’t worry, I won’t.” The guard said. “Just sayin’. Not my job to teach you manners. Your brother can do that.”

Lalli didn’t care that the guard thought that Onni was his brother. He wished he would stop trying to talk to him.

“I wonder if you can even talk at all. Maybe you’re deaf? But then again, why press your hands on your ears, then? Makes no sense. So you’re probably just stubborn.” The guard mused.

Lalli took another deep breath and tried to blur out the sound of the unfamiliar voice.

“No manners, you kids got, today. When I grew up, our city walls were swarmed by trolls daily, sometimes we had a giant attack _a week_. If we would have gone out there, we’d be dead in a second. We knew how to obey our parents!”

Lalli wished the unnamed guard would have taken a stroll outside the walls of his childhood city some time, so he’d be stuck with someone else right now.

The guard continued to talk nonsense, probably just because he liked to hear his own voice or because he still felt like he needed to teach Lalli a lesson. After a while, Lalli got used to the sound, so he closed his eyes, concentrated on the steady rumble of the baritone and his eyelids got heavy…

He jolted awake when there was a harsh knock on the door and the feet of the guard jumped up.

“Please let me in!” It was Onni’s voice. Lalli thought it best not to move – yet.

The door was opened and Lalli saw Onni’s boots walking into the room.

“Good evening, sir.” Onni greeted the guard politely.

“Hei. The name is Onni, right?” the guard answered.

“Yes, sir. I heard you found my cousin, sir?”

“I did. He was outside the walls after nightfall. Playing. How can you let a child outside the gates?!” the guard got angry again.

“I’m very sorry sir, he just keeps running away. He’s a bit peculiar. It won’t happen again.” Onni said. Lalli was surprised to find that Onni was lying that guard in the face!

“I shall hope so! You really should teach that boy some manners.” The guard repeated himself.

“I will, certainly.” Onni said. Lalli could hear in Onni’s voice that he wanted to get away. “Say, may I ask where he-“

“You should give him a good swat right behind the ears!” The guard offered.

“Yes. Of course. Now, where is he?” Onni asked again.

“There.” The guard said, and Lalli figured he pointed to the table.

In the next second, Lalli looked right into Onni’s face. There, he saw a strange mixture of anger and worry.

“Lalli…” Onni sighed and offered him a hand. Lalli didn’t take it, but came out from under the table anyway.

Then, he stood in front of Onni.

“Lalli, you… you can’t go outside the walls like this! It’s dangerous.” Onni said, but Lalli felt that his heart wasn’t in what he said.

“Right.” The guard chimed in.

“Excuse us, sir, we will go home now. I will talk to him. I will make sure he doesn’t do it again.” Onni said.

“And give him that spanking he deserves!” The guard nodded.

“Uh. What.” Onni said.

“Well, he needs to learn that he has to obey you! If you don’t teach him the hard way, he’ll never learn!” the guard said, sounding as offended as if this was his personal business.

“I know how to educate my cousin, thank you, sir.” Onni said icily. He walked over to the door. “We will be off now, Lalli needs to go to bed. Good night, sir.”

The opened the door. Lalli hurried to leave the office after him.

They walked side by side in silence.

“I’m sorry.” Lalli said with a small voice. He really was. He loved being outside the walls, and he knew he was going to go there again, but he was still sorry about making Onni trouble. If he had been quicker, that wouldn’t have had to happen.

“Lalli…” Onni began, then sighed heavily. “I can’t let you go outside the walls anymore. It’s too dangerous, and the guards are alert now. If they think I am not raising you right, they will take you and Tuuri away from me.” The tone of his voice assured that Lalli was not doubting a single word he said.

“So, please,” Onni stopped walking and turned to Lalli, who turned as well, “stay inside for now. Go play somewhere quiet where no one bothers you, but within the walls.” Then, suddenly – Lalli did not completely understand why – Onni started to cry. He gently pulled Lalli into a hug. Lalli did not struggle.

“I’m so sorry.” Onni mumbled into his little cousin’s hair. “Promise me you won’t go outside again.”

Lalli stayed silent. The silent world was his refuge. No people, no noise. No smells but the ones of the forest. And most importantly: No other kids. Losing the only place where he felt alive and safe was as good as dying. And he didn’t want to lie to Onni.

Onni let him go from the hug and looked right into his face.

“Lalli, promise me, please!”

Lalli didn’t look back at him. He couldn’t. He just couldn’t.

Onni stopped bothering him eventually, when he realized it didn’t help. They walked the rest of the way home in silence.

But when they all went to bed that night and Lalli heard Onni cry himself to sleep, he knew that he had lost the fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In what way this fits the prompt, you ask me?  
> Well, it's the "dark" that caused all of this, of course!


	5. Seeking Solace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here I am again! It's kind of hard to make time to write lately. But today's page (680) made me want to write something about Onni and Reynir. 
> 
> Rating: Gen  
> Characters: Reynir, Onni  
> Tags/Warnings: uh... crying?

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry! I didn’t know it was you!” Reynir yelled as the huge owl flapped his wings and continued screeching at him. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, please stop yelling!”

The owl did. It sat down on its branch again and stared at Reynir with its huge eyes. He made an involuntary step backwards.

“You should be able to notice a mage’s luonto by now.” The owl with Onni’s voice said, calmer now, in an accusing tone.

“I am!” Reynir replied. “It’s just… my fylga and Lalli’s lynx like being petted, and I thought…” he trailed off and looked to the ground. Onni somehow always managed to make him feel flushed and stupid.

Onni ignored what he had said. “Why have you come here? Is the crew in trouble again?” he asked, worry straining his voice in the last question.

“No, we’re… fine, I guess.” Reynir said. “I mean, besides…”

“Besides whom?!” Onni demanded to know.

“Um, haven’t you talked to Tuuri yet?” Reynir asked.

The owl puffed up its feathers. “And how am I supposed to do that? I am stuck in here, in this form. I have tried to wake up for three days, but my body is still too exhausted.” He seemed reluctant to admit it.

“Oh…” Reynir said. “What did you do?”

“What I did?!” The owl seemed to grow even larger with disbelief. “I summoned the Finnish fire godess Kokko to help your crew kill whatever came at you that night! And if my state is any proof, it seems to have worked.” The owl clacked its beak in grim contentment.

“Now tell me, how are Tuuri and Lalli? Did they get hurt?”

“Um…” Reynir picked up his braid and twisted it in his fingers. The gesture alone made the owl seemingly nervous.

“Lalli is fine.” Reynir brought forward. The owl didn’t answer. He knows what’s coming, Reynir thought.

“But Tuuri got scratched by a troll. But she is fine, too! She can talk and walk around and is fixing the tank! I’m sure she-” Reynir stopped. As soon as he spilled the news, reality seemed to falter and bend around the owl. And then, suddenly, the owl seemed to fall off the branch, tumble to the ground - but when it would have hit the moss beneath the tree, the figure of a man appeared.

“Onni!” Reynir gasped, falling to the ground by his side. Onni lay flat on his back, eyes closed for only a moment. When he opened them and looked at Reynir, the younger mage almost meant to see that something shattered in them. Onni sat up.

“Tuuri is infected.” He stated, eyeing Reynir.

“We can’t know yet!” Reynir answered. “She got a scratch from that troll, but she didn’t have any symptoms up to now!” He looked into Onni’s face. He wasn’t sure if his words had even reached Onni.

“Go.” Onni said.

“What?” Reynir cocked his head.

“I need to be alone. Leave me.”

Reynir gave Onni another long look. The other mage looked… destroyed. Tired, and so, so, very sad.

“Are you sure? You look like you need help.” Reynir dared saying. He immediately felt that he had crossed a line. Onni went red.

“How DARE you say that! After all I have done for you and the others! _Go_! Leave me alone!” he yelled. He looked like he was ready to jump Reynir at any moment.

“Okay, okay!” Reynir got up and made a few quick steps away from Onni, who was staring at him. He really wanted to ask if he was sure, but… looking at the cold fury in Onni’s eyes, he didn’t dare.

“I’m sorry.” He said, then he left. He was almost ready to set his foot on the bright-blue water again when he heard a scream that froze his blood.

He turned and ran back where he had come from.

He found Onni on exactly the same spot where he had left him. His arms were propped up on his drawn-up knees, he was leaning on the tree trunk… and his hands were on his face, for he was crying bitterly.

“Onni…” Reynir whispered, slowly coming near again. He knew he shouldn’t. He knew that the other man would just yell at him again. Or maybe finally throw a punch. Reynir admitted he did not know what he would do then. Probably fall to the ground like a stone, and even less gracefully.

But he couldn’t stop wanting to help Onni. He looked lost and lonely like this, sitting there and crying into his hands, alternating between trying to muffle his sobs and screaming out his pain.

“Onni…” Reynir carefully whispered again when he was closer. Onni’s head darted up.

“Wha- What are you doing here? I told you to go!” There was anger in his voice, but it seemed like he could muster much strength for it anymore.

“I couldn’t leave you like this.” Reynir answered. He came even nearer and sat down next to Onni at the tree.

“I heard your scream.” No answer.

“Can I… can I do anything for you?” he finally asked.

Onni had stopped crying and stared into the distance. Upon Reynir’s question, he shrugged. _At least I still didn’t get punched in the face_ , Reynir thought.

“Um… do you… need a hug?” Reynir asked. Onni snorted. And shrugged again. His face seemed to crumble.

“Um. I’ll just…” Reynir trailed off, leaned over, and wrapped his arms around Onni. It was awkward at first and he didn’t quite know what to do with his hands. But when Onni’s body eventually slacked and he wrapped his arms around Reynir’s waist, it got better.

After a moment, Reynir heared the muffled sobs again, this time against his shoulder. But he worried less now.

If Onni let him in, he could help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not starting to ship it. I am NOT starting to ship it. I am not starting to...


	6. Break Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "break away" means, as a dictionary told me, severing an important relationship, and it's often used in a parent-child context. I had so many interesting ideas for this one, but I am - again - suffering from a deep-sitting writer's block. I haven't properly written anything in two months or something, and it makes me very sad.  
> This is my first anxious try to get back on my feet again.
> 
> Rating: Gen   
> Chracters: Onni, Tuuri, Lalli  
> Summary: A glimpse into the past. Some change in the Hotakainen household is in order.   
> Warnings: none

Dinner was even more quiet than usual today. The three Hotakainens stuffed their food into their mouths without a word. When his plate was half-empty, Lalli stood up and left.

None of the other two bothered to look up and see where he went. The tension grew, it was like a live thing in the air that you could grab.

After a few more mouthfuls of soup that tasted like ash in her mouth, Tuuri spoke up: “I will still come and visit, you know.”

It took Onni a second until he reacted. Then, he shook his head.

“I won’t allow it.” He said. His voice was calm, and the tears from before could still be heard.

Another moment of quietness. Another spoon of soup.

“I’m sixteen now, Onni.” Tuuri said with as calm as a voice as she could muster. “You can’t tell me what to do anymore.”

Onni looked up, stared into his sister’s face. “As long as you are not of age, I can. And I will.”

Tuuri swallowed, but not because of the soup. “Onni.” She said, trying to not sound too pleading.

“Tuuri.” Onni answered with his sad, calm voice that Tuuri had come to resent.

“I don’t want to hurt you!” Tuuri said.

“This is not about hurting me.” Onni said, putting up his reasonable voice. “This is about providing the safety and guidance you need. Both you and Lalli.”

“I am not a child anymore, Onni.” Tuuri tried again. “I am sixteen now, and other kids get their own place at that age, too!”

Onni shook his head, still calm. “This is just because we live in a military camp. If we still were at home, you would stay with our parents until much longer.”

“How can you even know that?!” Tuuri gasped, slowly starting to lose her temper. “Our pa-“ she stopped, but these words were already too much.

Onni stood up, his spoon dropping to the floor. “Do not talk to me about our parents, Tuuri.” He warned, his voice getting louder. “You will stay in this house as long as you need to, and this is my final word.” He grabbed the paper that had been lying on the table between them the whole time. Tuuri gasped and grabbed for it, too, but Onni was faster.

He ripped it to shreds. Tuuri shrieked.

“Why are you like that? Why are you always so mean to everyone?!” she yelled, starting to cry as she watched the paper tear and fall to the ground. “Why can’t you let me make my own decisions?! You won’t even talk to me about the things I want!”

“Because I know _better_ than you!” Onni yelled.

His volume scared both of them for a moment, but then he continued.

“There are things in this world that you don’t understand, that you will never understand, and I am the only family left to protect you and Lalli! And I will not let you get torn away from me!”

“You’re mean and the most selfish person I have ever met!” Tuuri yelled back.

“I am trying to CARE for you!” Onni screamed, outraged.

“No, you are trying to control me!” Tuuri replied, her face red. “You do not care about what I want at all! You are just scared that you will be alone because-“ Tuuri stopped. The things that had been in her mind were too big, too vile and too true to be ever said.

She turned away and started sobbing into her hands. She could hear how Onni was close behind her, but without ever coming to touch her or try to console her.

“Tuuri, there is no use in discussing this further.” Onni said, his voice calm and stern again.

“Let’s just forget about it.”

She wanted to reply, but it just came out as more desperate sobs. Eventually, she sank into a chair because she had no strength in her legs left, leaning her head onto the table, and cried on. She didn’t know for how long, but when she looked up, Onni was gone.

The next morning, Tuuri left the house long before the sun had even had the slightest thought of rising. She took the shreds of the paper Onni had torn with her, and most of her things.

She came to school two hours late that day, but her excuse was good: She had finally been assigned her own small hut, only a few hundred meters away from the one Onni and Lalli lived in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had two scenes of Reynir and his "break away" from home, but it just didn't work for some reason, and now I have this. I am at a point where I claim that to write BS is better than not writing at all. (But tell that to the rest of my mind...)


End file.
